is quite challenging. That being said, i have days where I dream of extraordinary beauty amidst our world. the planet, its places, people, their histories, the so many living beings and non. You may have realized what this profound sense of existence and littleness that I may feel. But we must acknowledge that for some evolutionary response we clearly don’t feel the overwhelming insignificance when compared to all life. we sit and decide and think like the world exists in our hands. Out of your head is a good lesson, a wise friend recently taught. So what would that be and where would I find it?
Tibet i suppose and the exaggerated lie that I would go. I won’t risk it for everyone would I? Shouldn’t.
So geopolitical trouble is one form of revolutionary act, but i seek more meaningful revolutions by just going. No one goes, crossing borders is inconvenient for everyone, but push borders responsibly ya? Which is like going to arunachal to farthest stream,over that cane bridge, where the sun shines warming and drawing water from land. where plants spirits and people make consciousness.
Why do I dwell on this all? Perhaps, the last three days of profound experiences, fairly got me straight in the heart, ya?
I’ve always wanted to be of use to society, how but? Environmental activism! the VOICE! But that gets you into trouble, so I went down the path where you’re protected by saving lives, the govt. wont get you then. hahaha
Self rescue and evacuation scenarios therefore are valuable life skills. And in Arunachal if i could learn and share so people can protect their lives of whats to come then why not!
So its in the heart of our climbing world we learn this from teachers and peers. Yedumadu… some place this is. From million year old cycads, 3 billion years of earth, weathered, stripped of vegetation and seemingly just rock,
we appear over lifeforms like lichen, taking space for our profound desire to not be excluded from nature’s grasp. But also to put in some heart for each other, potentially save each other if we had to.
Of course i’ve shared none of my evolutionary responses but to just disconnect is one.. which i no longer seem to want to, or am able to.
My response is to cling to my community, to these guys who want to experiment with rescue shit but know most of the shit with hiccups in ego, trust and unity. No matter they care for each other.
anyways, i believe some would understand why i go document the deepest and steepest slopes of our planet. absurdity is the behaviour. and that is what i am built to do… i’ve had alot of dreams of places to go.. and i keep going and i will go, and its so much easier to go than to build a home, have a family, kutta, plants, home. i truly truly wonder why and it pains me when i think and weep about it.
but i must appreciate what i have ya… and appreciate what i don’t, because they all make you who you are.
and somewhere you maybe doing something to figure out what you’re made of.
star dust is what we are all ya
Essays by a Naturalist 
Chintan. What the fuck. I can’t tell you how much I loved reading this. You’re a beautiful writer. And I resonate, hey. The other night I ranted to my sisters about why I live the life the way I do, traveling, moving, doing every single thing I feel like doing, and still hope to find unconditional long-term love, children, and family. They all said the same thing “But this is you, Tanu”. Keep doing, you, Chintan. The world actually needs it in more ways than you and I can explain, maybe.
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